I tried a menstrual cup.....tmi

In a previous post, I talked about trying cloth menstrual pads. I figured I would try a menstrual cup. I researched several and decided to try the Softcup. It is cheaper than other cups just in case I didn't feel comfortable wearing it. Softcups are cheaper since they are not meant to last for longer than one cycle. Ummmmmm.........me being me, I see through marketing and believe these cups can be used for more than one cycle because the material they are made of are safe and durable. Also, another difference with the Softcups is they are supposed to be able to stay in while having sex.

I asked people if they tried menstrual cups and the few who have, have all used the softcups. There are disposable and reusable. They look the same, but the resuable are thicker it seems. It seems the disposables are available in local pharmacy stores, but I didn't find the reusables (they come in a box of 2) and had to order them online.

My experience with the Softcup was pretty good, for the most part. It wasn't messy, but you definitely have to be very very very comfortable with your girl parts. As for the grossness, I figure if you have a cycle, you should be used to seeing your own blood, whether you use pads or tampons. Maybe I am gross, but I was fascinated with seeing how much was coming out of my uterus..........ok, that does sound gross.

I wore pantyliners and pads just to make sure there were no accidents. I only had a problem on my heavy day. And my heavy days are HEAVY. That was the only day I had any spotting, but I wore my cloth pads and was prepared. The cup didn't fill up, but I have issues with clots that bring a lot of bleeding. Some months have been so bad that my disposable pad was full after about an hour and a half. But with the cup, I had to check it often, but it was still much better than using a pad. My spotting was nothing compared to a full pad. Even overnight I woke up with spotting instead of a full pad.

The Softcup was comfortable and easy to put in and take out. The size of it made me intimidated so I read the instructions over and over and over. I saw some reviews where people had a hard time taking it out. I honestly believe it was because they did not do as the instructions said. Softcups even have videos with visuals on inserting and removing them. But let me say again, you will need to be very very very comfortable with touching your girl parts.

I have read comments from people saying they won't use menstrual cups because of their heavy flow. But the way I see it, you have to change your pad or tampon often, do the same with the cup. The cup is much safer material than disposable anything. But I get it...people get used to something and feel inconvenienced to change a routine.

So basically, I am feeling the Softcup (no pun intended).  And I will continue to use it. I do plan to try one of the bell shape cups. I will share that info once I try it.

Oh I forgot to mention.......This is soooooo inexpensive. The box of 2 cups was $4.99. A win for the simple cheap girl!!!!

I Love DIY!!!!!

I am one of those people that likes to make things. The things I sell in my business started from me wanting something and deciding to make it myself, versus finding the right one to buy from someone else. I will admit that part of me being so creative is because I am cheap.  I believe in stretching a dollar for real.

In my BC (before child) days, I used to love to shop. But event then, I would go from store to store to find the best deals. Because I was all about making my money stretch, I preferred to shop alone since I would go to stores more than once to determine what I could get the absolute best deals for. And now I know the secret to saving money - make my own. I wanted waist beads, I made my own. I wanted a good moisturizer, I made my own. I wanted a big bag, I made my own.

Another reason I make my own things is because I am below average height. So pants are always too long on me, but sadly I gotten used to it. But as I gained more weight, finding well fitting clothes became even harder. I love the maxi skirt look, but to buy one that is cute, fits in the waist and a length that won't make me trip is not an easy thing. The same with finding cute wide leg pants. Now with me being so "petite," wearing long and wide bottoms probably make me look even shorter. But I don't care since I embrace my shortness :-). I learned how to sew when I was in the 8th grade and it is funny how many years later (many many) I absolutely love it. I get frustrated now when I don't have fabric to make anything. Then again, that's what scraps are for.

The theme of this blog is simple living. I know for some people making your own things is definitely not simple. It can be time consuming and we do live in a busy society. But for me I get to save money and can make things to my liking and my fit. This for me is simplicity. There are so many resources out there. Thanks to a youtube video, I was able to fix our washing machine. If I decided to make a dresser, I can do it. I so love it!!

If you are interested in making clothes, here are some of my favorite diy'ers:
https://www.youtube.com/user/mimigoodwin2
https://www.youtube.com/user/tglashen
https://www.youtube.com/user/ThreadBanger
https://www.youtube.com/user/BritxBrat2Fashion

Changing Your Expectations

Too often we are disappointed because things do not turn out how we expect.  From the situation we feel hurt, sadness, anger, and other emotions to bring on a negative energy.  Things not going our way can be hard to accept and we tend to place blame on things or people outside of ourselves.  The truth is though there may be outside forces involved, we cannot ignore our part in the whole thing and our part may be high expectations.

Expectations should not be confused with standards.  Standards determine what we will and will not accept. Having standards is a way of displaying a belief about something and a knowing that you do not deserve less than what you believe in.  Expectations involves what we think should happen or how we think someone should act or react.  How many times have we expected someone to do us a favor just because we would do it for them? Often expectation is wanting or needing things to be done based on your belief system or personality without regarding someone else’s beliefs or personality. Our standards should not be lowered in order to lower our expectations.  For example, if we have standards in what we are looking for in a mate (career, religious beliefs, finances, goals, looks) we should not have the expectation that we will be married within a few months of meeting the ideal mate by assuming the other person will move at the same pace.  Then we will be disappointed because it does not happen when we think it should.

There are a few things to understand about changing expectations.

1. The first thing we have to admit to ourselves is that everyone does not think exactly as we do.  We are all individuals and we like to be treated as such.  Just because you try to make it to everyone else’s special

functions, you should not expect everyone to always make it to your functions.  Becoming angry at a friend that does not show up is an emotional reaction to your expectation. Without the expectation that your friend will absolutely be there for you, you will not feel as bad about their no show.

2. Stop being attached to an outcome, especially when it involves someone else.  Outside forces have their own plan and we have to understand this.  How we see things happening may not be in the best interest of someone else or could make things out of order.

3. Sometimes expectation means wanting someone to change who they are.  What you may see as a flaw could just be who they are.  Here is where expectations get confused with standards.  No, you do not have to accept negative treatment or behavior from someone else such as disrespect or abuse.  This is not supposed to be a part of changing expectations, but a part of protecting your self-esteem and love of self.  Changing expectations means not looking for someone to be a perfect cook when you knew that is not a part of who they are when you met them.  If someone’s actions are hurting you, then maybe you should examine or establish standards.  If someone’s actions are a reflection of their personality, then you should not EXPECT them to do something out of character.

4. Changing expectations is about expecting level one or even zero to happen.  This is easier said than done. But imagine a great surprise when you expect nothing from someone and they show up with the best gift you have ever received.  If you expected it, then your level of surprise will not be as big.

5. Without big expectations, we are able to have more appreciation for things. If you ask someone for $100 and they give you $1,000, your gratitude will be at a higher level and makes life seem more pleasant to live in.  Letting go of high expectations can bring more peace within.  It alters how you view people and situations by lessening frustration when things do not work out how you EXPECTED.  Changing expectations is not about changing your goals to have positive outcomes.  It is about changing how you view the role of outside forces, whether small or large.

Continue with your beliefs and your understanding of how you do things. But it is time to give others a break and try to see things from their eyes.  You will feel better about how you handle things and let loose of the high expectations you place on others by not dictating how they should act.

Alternative for that time of the month

If you cannot handle this topic, you may want to skip this one. If you are a woman, you can handle it because, well you are a woman.

One day I saw a post on facebook about menstrual pad alternatives. The person had sewn some cloth pads and switched from using the disposable pads. Well I found this very interesting since I am a pad person versus tampons. I tried the tampons off and on, but my flow was too unpredictable for me. And I have always been afraid of Toxic Shock Syndrome (TSS). Reusable cloth pads sound like just the solution for me to save money and switch to something more natural.

As I said before, the person from the post, made her own. That really impressed me and I became curious about the type of fabric to use. I am all about saving money (or maybe you can call me cheap) and I am fortunate to have a sewing machine. I began researching cloth pads and other alternatives for our cycle. I was surprised at the number of alternatives that are out there. There are not only cloth pads, but there are tampons alternatives like sponges and menstrual cups.

The other reason I considered switching is because there are also chemicals in disposable pads. It is believed that are health risks that may cause cervix or ovarian cancer in pads and tampons. They really are taking chances with our lives. Also, I came across a few people who switched from disposable to reusable pads that said their periods became shorter and cramped less. What in the world are they putting in those disposable pads!!!

In my research I came across several sites that sold reusable cloth pads. There's a variety of pantyliners and pads and they are too cute. They are a bit costly though. But worth the cost considering how many pads we buy over time. In the long run you will save money. But I knew if I found out the type of fabric to use to make sure I wouldn't have messy periods, then I could make my own. What I found was that many people who made their own used a lot of cotton and flannel. I got excited because I had a huge bag of scrap fabric leftover from things I previously made. Game on!!! I gathered my fabric and got to work. I traced the shape of a pad and a pantyliner on paper, cut out the shapes on a lot of fabric and made several pads and pantyliners. I used about 4 layers for my pantyliners and about 7 for the pads. Thankfully I had some leftover thick padded quilted pieces. I thought by the time I was done with the pads, they would be as thick as the old school pads we had before the thin ones. But they weren't. They weren't thin like the store bought disposables, but they were fine.

Now switching over to cloth pads takes an open mind. Reusable means having to clean them. Yep, a lot less convenient than the tossing away a disposable, but I was up for the challenge. Plus I am lucky that I work from home most days so I could test it out without any embarrassing concerns. If you are grossed out easily by your own blood, then it will make you sick to have to wash out your pads. It doesn't bother me though.

When my cycle started I tested out my handmade pads and liners. My heavy days were the test. I did cheat and put a disposable on underneath the cloth pad. There was some leakage, but it took a couple of hours for that to happen. That just meant the next pads I would make needed to be thicker. The next batch I made were indeed thicker, but better protection. I have been using my cloth pads and liners for the last 3 cycles. I am still not confident enough to not have a pad underneath on my heavy days, but I can admit that they did hold up really well. Bye bye disposables.

Simpler living by saving money with reusable pads. Not to mention it is a healthier option. I have a feeling, my flow may lighten up over time. And soon I will be trying menstrual cups......really soon.

Visit the sites below to see what's available for cloth pads.
GladRags
Sckoon organic menstrual pads

Very Simple Skincare

There was a time when I probably used five different skincare products. Now I use just two from head to toe. I get more compliments now than I did before.

Before I used store bought facial cleanser and body wash for clean skin. After cleaning, I would then use a moisturizer for my face, body lotion and something extra moisturizing for my feet.

What began my research into more natural alternatives was my daughter. She was having a sleepover and we decided to do manis, pedis and facials. I didn't want to use products filled with ingredients that may have a negative effect on these girls. I wanted to use something that would also be fun. As I searched different items good for skincare, I became very fascinated. I wanted to try so much,  but that would mean spending a lot of money.

I settled on a banana face mask, a foot scrub made of sugar, grapeseed oil and peppermint essential oil to scent and beeswax, shea butter, coconut oil lotion bars. The lotion bars didn't stay lotion bars for long, but I loved how soft it made my skin. Everyone at the sleepover liked it too.

After the party, I made another batch of lotion since it was so lovely. But I did eliminate the beeswax because I wanted to use the mix on my face and I wasn't feeling the idea of beeswax on my face. Before I used scented lotion, but not now. Just shea butter and coconut oil. For "smell good" I use body oils I buy from a friend.

Now let me back up a bit to my cleanser. 2 words - Black Soap. Since switching to black soap, I hear compliments about how pretty my skin is and how I glow. I love black soap and I use it on my body and my face. Sometimes I even suds up my hands and wash my locs with it.

There you have it, 3 items - black soap, shea butter, and coconut oil. These are my choices, but there are so many natural options out there that are incredible. But let me just add that coconut oil is truly multi-functional in my world. I mix it with other oils for my locs. I now mix it for my deodorant (see post on deodorant), in addition to cooking with it. I am even trying to use coconut oil for oil-pulling, but I need to get past holding the oil in my mouth for longer than 5 minutes, so it is a bit challenging making it a part of my daily routine.

So this is rather a simplistic way of caring for my skin....I would say so. Check out that glow...lol

When Life Gives You Lemons.....or Limes

One day I was watching Dr. Oz. It was one of those days when I didn't change the channel and the TV was watching me. Dr. Oz had people talk about different solutions that you wouldn't think of. Well, someone was demonstrated how she uses lemons as a deodorant. Well, that definitely caught my attention. I have been wanting to use a natural deodorant. I tried one years ago and it didn't work and I started smelling musty. So I didn't try again until earlier this year. I bought a different brand. Didn't like it either. I did try it again when I ran out of deodorant but I just did not feel fresh and clean at all.

So why did I want to switch from your average deodorants that you get in the stores? For one, toxins in many deodorants have been linked to breast cancer. That and I have gotten to where I don't trust materials used in many products we buy and eat. Now I won't act like I am all natural with everything, because I haven't. But I am taking baby steps into the more natural as a part of my simple living.

Now onto to the lemon lady on Dr. Oz. She grabbed a whole lemon, sliced it in half and rubbed the cut lemon in her arm pits. It was that simple. So what did I do next? Researched. This whole lemon thing was all over the web and on many sites as natural alternatives for deodorant. The lemon juice is acidic and can kill order-causing bacteria. I never ever ever ever thought about that. So what next? Try it. I am the type that once I learn about something and research it, I am ready to try it. But I only had extra limes in the house at the time. I searched to see if a lime would have the same effect. The answer was yes.

My concern was if my underarms would be sticky and would I smell like a lemon. Well, I didn't see anything about smelling like a walking lemon, but I did come across a post that said it was not sticky. I still had to find out for myself. And I also did more research on other home recipes for deodorant. Several times I cam across a recipe that consisted of baking soda, arrowroot or cornstarch, and coconut oil. It was a sign because I was considering putting on coconut oil first to moisturize then rub the lemon on. But why not add the baking soda as well......since I had it. Baking soda also combats odor.

The next morning I did a mix of baking soda and coconut oil until it became like a paste. I squeezed the juice of one lime into a small bottle then added the juice to the paste. I can't even tell you how much of each item I used but I would guess about  a tablespoon of baking soda and maybe a tablespoon of coconut oil. Then I used maybe a teaspoon of lime juice. The acidity of the juice and baking soda caused the mixture to fizz. Call me weird, but I got excited....lol. This mixture made a small amount, but that is all I needed just to see if I liked it.

After I showered, it was time to use my concoction. Instead of using my deodorant mix under both arms, I rubbed some under one arm and rubbed just lime juice under the other. Well, good news....once the juice dried, it was NOT sticky....wooooohooooo!!!! Then the test. I did laundry and took my nephew outside to ride his bike. We also just sat outside and it was an 80 degree day. I did some sweating, but I'm not sure if I had an odor. When I did my own sniff test, I did not smell funky. But that may have been psychological because I wanted to believe it worked...lol.

For real though, I believe it worked. I tried to get people in my family to do a sniff test, but no one would cooperate. Well, my nephew did but he is only 4 and he said I stink....correction he said I stank then ran off laughing. But basically, when I was funky before when using regular deodorant when it wore off, I could smell the funk. With my mixture and the juice, I did not smell stinky under either pits. As far as which I like more, I think I like the mixture more than just the juice. Not that the lime juice didn't do it's job. But maybe the baking soda gave me some extra protection.

So now added to my simple living is my homemade deodorant. And I love it!!!

When everyone around you operates in drama

So you are having a good day.....beautiful weather, no traffic, and just an overall good feeling. You come in contact with someone who is in attack mode. Do you give in to their dramatic attitude, or do you choose not to deal with it? What I had to understand is that people are who they are and going to be who they are. I know this is easier said than done, but sometimes we can't take people's attitudes personal. Even if it is personal, that doesn't mean we have to react just as badly to their craziness. Yep, very much easier said than done. It takes time to be able to master this. I know I haven't, but I am getting better at it.

I began practicing meditation about 6 years ago. I wasn't always consistent with it, but I did see the benefits. One of the benefits is being able to establish peace. Now here is where it gets a bit less simple....ok complicated. We may be on a peaceful journey, but not every in your life is on the same path. There may be someone who seems to always have drama going on . Or maybe it is someone who is a complainer - so unhappy with life. Then you have people who just seem to irk your nerves because they are used to getting into arguments with you.

The truth is, you don't have to deal with what you don't want to deal with. But how do you not deal with it. One of my favorite words is "okay." I annoy the hell out of people who are looking for a debate or argument or some sort of resistance and I simply say "okay." We each have choices and as the saying goes, "choose your own battles." Every battle is definitely not worth your peace and sanity.

That whole taking a break before you speak works wonders.....sometimes. Again, it takes time to be able to not let people get to you. But we need to stop giving people our peace so easily. Whether a stranger or a person in your life, we let people get us so outraged. Crazy thing is sometimes our rage lasts longer than theirs. We stay in a  zone of just being super pissed. If this is a regular thing, of course that causes health issues. Is it worth it? I say hell no!!!!

I am learning to not walk into every argument. And because I am emotionally sensitive, I limit the amount of other people's issues/drama that I listen to. I spent a lot of time giving others so much of my energy that it drained me. I had to take back my power and work on who I want to be. I am getting there....my simple life.

Intro - Plain and Simple

On a journey to eliminate as much complexity out of my life as I can, I am always looking for alternative ways of living that just makes more sense to me. I do not believe in spending unnecessary money – anymore, and I believe that there has to be a simpler way of doing a lot of things. I no longer believe in just going along with something just because everyone else is doing it. I used to, but my perspective on life has changed since I had my daughter and it continues to change as I am enlightened on different things. And I am big on doing my own research also.

This is my version of a disclaimer. Everything I talk about here is not meant to be law, but just suggestions on making things simple. Some of the simpler things may seem to be too much for some people, some may not. Often my quest for something simple involves finding something cheaper. But then some things may involve a bit more money upfront and there are other reasons behind this simple switch.

Now some of what I will talk about will involve stepping out of your comfort zone. Some may involve hands on work. I am a creative person and love learning how to make new things. But that is who I am. Either you can choose to try it yourself or ignore the hell out of me. It’s ok. I am not doing this to force anyone to be like me. I promise I will not take it personal. I love individualism. These are just things that I am tackling on my journey. I may end up being called a Black Hippie because of this.

Here is another disclaimer, much of what I am sharing is related to women. Some may be TMI for men. But it won’t hurt to read what I am talking about and share with the women in your life.

My life’s goal is to rely less on society’s standards as much as I can. I am not in denial that I won’t be able to fully switch my entire life to simple living, but I will try my hardest to do so. The subjects I talk about may seem all over the place, but the whole purpose is to transform mind, body, and spirit to have simplicity internally and externally. Topics will range from feminine hygiene, skincare and even having peace within. Knowing me, I may throw in something extra random.

Here we go!